I am to say the least, EXHAUSTED!
I am barely getting by these days, and a times feel like I just want to give up.
I dread the night and morning hours where sleep rarely takes place for Mack & Myself.
Mack has the bad habit of wanted to nurse 24/7 and it's really taking a toll on me.
He will not even fall asleep unless he is latched onto me.
This is not a habit I want him to have, but when nothing else works It's what ends up happening.
So, to help me out a little I ask for some encouraging words. I have cried my last tear and I want to look at the experience as a positive one- however I am in need of help to make that happen.
I am barely getting by these days, and a times feel like I just want to give up.
I dread the night and morning hours where sleep rarely takes place for Mack & Myself.
Mack has the bad habit of wanted to nurse 24/7 and it's really taking a toll on me.
He will not even fall asleep unless he is latched onto me.
This is not a habit I want him to have, but when nothing else works It's what ends up happening.
So, to help me out a little I ask for some encouraging words. I have cried my last tear and I want to look at the experience as a positive one- however I am in need of help to make that happen.
25 comments:
do what you need to do to get by right now. even if it means getting mack into a habit you dont want him to have... it can always be broken later when you are both more stable. youre a good momma and sometimes we forget how hard it is to care for a newborn.
Jen,
Thanks for your comments on my blog. I needed them badly today!
I love you so much and am so grateful for you. I want to help you as much as I can. I know Mack likes to be with you all the time so if we can take Katelyn we will gladly do it.
Thank you for all you have done for me in the past 8 months. I will love you forever!
Love,
Em
I think that no matter how many children we have, we are always surprised at how different the experience is with each of them. Just when we know that we THINK we know what we're doing, we are reminded that we don't. Mack is still so new and little that I wouldn't worry about any schedules and routines right now. Although I do understand about being SO tired and emotionally drained. I really do my friend and I hope things start to get easier for you. Needless to say, I am not sure I have any wise words of wisdom for you. Maybe get one of those books, you know the Love and Logic type things. But really, it's just a process and one that you will eventually figure out. Can I help at all ? I can come get Katelyn and give you a break or even come sit with the kids while you sleep. I am SO serious too, I would love to help : )
hey jen i need to get your address so i can bring you a gift. and can i come helpclean your house or something? that would be very funfor me and i'll get a babysitter and just come clean my little heart out! let me know and let me know your address, karebearjones84@AOL.COM
thanks
kari
This is what my aunts like to call the 4th trimester! The second baby is a little harder in a way but only for a little while and things will settle down! You've got so much going on right now Jen! Its ok to cry or to let your baby cry for a few minutes to take care of yourself! My sister and I joke that when you have a baby anything goes for the first 6 weeks (or however long you need)... The older kids can pretty much have any food they want when they want it if they can reach it, do anything they want as long as its fairly safe, and see any movie/show they can think of! Its ok - give yourself some time, things will start feeling back to normal! You're doing great!
First of all, this too will pass! I promise! Wyatt was a non-stop nurser as well - I would get 5 hours of sleep in a 12 hour time period, so I feel your pain sister! I can't even count the times that I fell asleep while nursing Wyatt, either sitting up on the couch or laying in my bed. Do what you gotta do to get through it. It's so hard but don't stress too much about him falling into habits and so forth - he'll be much more flexible soon.
In addition to a newborn you also have your first home that you are trying to move into- realize you have A LOT on your plate right now and give yourself a break. It's 2 really rough months with newborns, but try to remember that this is the only time he'll be so sweet and so small and just so fresh from Heavenly Father. It's going to be ok, you can do it! You'll make it!
You have a lot on your plate right now! I don't blame you for feeling overwhelmed. I think the first 6 weeks with a newborn are just about surviving the transition, and you are doing much more than that.
Try to let others take some of the weight off of your shoulders, and accept any help that is offered. Here is a link to those moby wraps I was telling you about. It's actualy a post about how you can make one for cheap, if you want. I've read that you can nurse in them too, but maybe he will be content just being snuggled against you. Take care:)
http://birthfaith.blogspot.com/2009/08/no-sew-baby-wrap-instructions.html
Wow, you've gotten such awesome comments! You're so lucky to have so many great friends. Seriously, take them all up on their offers to help.
If you haven't already, try putting him in his swing after his tummy is full. Mason always sleeps longer when he's in the swing. I try not to over use it but sometimes you just need that extra hour or even the extra 15 minutes.
I totally know how you feel! The first 2 months with Sam were the worst. I was a zombie! I was averaging 3 hours a night and not in a row. I cried so much!! What helped me was the book Babywise. Some people love it and some say it's not for them. Also when Jordan had to go back to work after one week of being able to stay home with me, I didn't depend on anyone for help. And that was a huge mistake! And I was a mess! So I would take on anyone that offers help and even ask family and friends to help. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. Jen if you need any help I'm totally here. Cooking, cleaning, or watching your little ones so that you can get some sleep or have a break. :)
I wish I had some amazing advice to tell you, but I don't. just hang in there, it will all work itself out! Although it seems you have a lot of good advice above.
I am a fan of certain parts of the babywise book. Another Book I love, Happiest Baby on the block. I think the library even has a video. Totally works!! Go ahead and cry if you need to it's a great coping mechanism. Hope you get some rest!!!!!!
Laynee was waking up to nurse every hour for a whole two months. When I hit my wall, I simply told my husband that my priority was making sure kids were fed and had clean diapers. Rae spent alot of time watching cartoons on my bed during the day while I slept and Laynee slept in her swing. It really is okay to let everything else go for awhile. It will all still be there when you start to feel better...and your kids don't need a clean house to know you love them...
Two thoughts. 1. Make sure you are getting sufficient nutrition so that it is passed on to Mack. I have heard of babies constantly eating because they aren't getting enough nutrition. 2. It is okay to let him cry. It is good exercise for them. As I remember, your Dad cried a LOT. I rocked him to sleep rather than hear him cry. But when your Dad was just a few weeks old,I decided to let him cry himself to sleep. So, I put him in his little crib and pulled it next to the bathroom door so I could hear him while I took a shower. Being in the shower distracted me some and I couldn't break down and pick him up. As I finished my shower I heard him settling down and a few minutes later he was asleep. He gradually was better at going to sleep on his own. Remember, this two will pass. Bless you Jen.
How can I help Jen? I will do my best at whatever you need. Chin up.
Pump a bottle and hand the baby off to Scott. If you are nursing around the clock it will drive you nuts and you won't be able to enjoy your baby. Pump, pump, pump. The more you pump the more milk you have and the more milk they get - which will help them sleep better. Pump during the day if you need a break, and especially at night when you desperately need a break. I have 2 manual Avent breast pumps, they are awesome. If you want to borrow one you are welcome to - let me know. Pumping is a lifesaver during the first 3 months when the newborn is hungry.
480-298-4122 - I could drop it by if you need.
I totally understand. Trust me. When i first had the twins I got 4 one hour naps a day and that was it. I remember thinking- i would love to just sleep for 3 hours straight. I know it sucks- but it will get better! Hang in there!
Jen, I am a really scheduled person myself, and I got Ian on a schedule early, but your baby is still little. Wait until about 6 weeks and things will get better. Let him cry if you need to. I did with Ian and he learned to sleep through the night by 7 weeks. Read Babywise, I swear by that book. I hope things are getting better, and that you are able to get some sleep.
PS don't worry about bad habits at this age, he is still young and you NEED sleep.
Sleep is GOOD. Sometimes, I had to just let Clara cry so I could get sleep. I agree with Taryn about Babywise... but hang in there and it will get better.
Hang in there! You got some great advice from all these comments. You have some great friends too. Maybe you could try a pacifier or different types of nipples if he won't take the one you have. He could just want the sucking to calm him. With my last baby, I was so tired at night that I just let him sleep with me so I could turn over and nurse him on my side. I would wake up soaking wet sometimes, but it was worth the extra sleep! Good luck, it will get better soon!
My heart goes out to you! You are such an amazing woman. You have family and friends that care so deeply about you. You are such a wonderful mom. I know that this will pass. I wish I had some profound advice that I could offer that would make everything better for you. However, I have nothing profound, nothing life changing. I do want to tell you that it will be okay. I know today it doesn't feel like it, but things will turn around!!
Oh Jen I really love reading your blog and all the sweet comments of your family and friends. It is so hard to know what to do because every baby is so different. Hang in there, you know it gets better. I think my words of advice are learn how to nurse laying down so you both can get some sleep. And, pump a little milk out in the morning when you are really full and give a bottle in the evening when your milk is low. This will help him feel full, give you a break, and then hopefully you both can get some sleep. When times get tough for me with my little ones I just try and remember someday I am going to miss this.
Oh man Jen, I so know how you feel, every mom does it... you go on this adrenaline kick and then all of a sudden you hit a wall and it's all over! I cried numerous times a day when Cameron had to leave for his internship after 2 weeks, it's so hard. Just find something that distracts you or is "calming" and go with it. If it's sitting in the tub while the baby is napping and brining Katelyn in the bathroom with you while she colors, who cares! Make it work. And Rest, Rest, Rest, nothing more refreshing... I wish I was there to help :(
Have you tried the binkie? Different kinds? Everyone has told me the same thing, everything else can wait, just eat, sleep, and let your kid do whatever for you to get by. Sleep when Katelyn and Mack sleep, hopefully this happens for you. ;) It's all worth it in the end!
Edyn was a full time nurser too. It was so hard. Eventually I found out that my milk was not 'creamy' enough, I lacked proper nutrition. I was usually too exhausted to eat all that I needed to. I ate pretty healthy too! One thing that I have learned since, at Sprouts they have these teas you can buy. Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is great for nursing mothers. They also have teas that help with the quality of your milk that actually mention nursing on the front. I am a total believer in herbal teas, they have helped me in tons of ways. Once I got Edyn onto formula (at about 9 months) her growth skyrocketed and she was back on the charts where she should have been, and she was full longer. Further proof my milk was not what it should have been (I found out about those teas later) I think nursing is the best for as long as you can do it (reasonably ;) and proper nutrition and rest is so important. I also put Edyn in her own room at 4 weeks cause I felt just like you, I was going crazy. I could not sleep with her in my room! That night she and I slept for 7 hours straight! It was a miracle! I was a really light sleeper so I used earplugs sometimes just so I'd be able to really fall asleep, and if I needed to get up and feed her Craig would wake me up, but at least that way I got the kind of deep sleep I needed. I hope some of this helps! Good luck, you are awesome, and I firmly believe that our miracles come in the last hour right when we think we can take it no more! Your miracle will come!
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